Contagion 28

"Manual Control"

~

I kind of wanted to call him Chris - or maybe even Alex - [I] anything [/I] but ‘Starscream’! What a weird alias. I mean, it kind of defeated the purpose of having an alias, really. Weren’t alias’ supposed to keep you hidden? What good did an alias like ‘Starscream’ do? Wouldn’t Chris or Alex or- even Kyle!- be better than that? It didn’t help either that he absolutely [I] insisted [/I] that Starscream [I] was [/I] his real name. As if. Who names their kid Starscream? I’d heard some of the other guys call him ‘Screamer.’ Yeah - like [I] that’s [/I] any better. [I] Real [/I] masculine.

I continued to stare up at the sky, lost in thought, swinging my legs off the back of the Dayfish. My dad absolutely like - freaked out when I climbed up there. It’s not like I’d ever really fallen either, he was just doing the over-protective dad thing. He was just worried that I’d get hurt or worse. I really wouldn’t have minded the ‘or worse’ part, actually - it would have spared me the waiting. Maybe dad picked up on that.

I picked out the few constellations I knew and smiled at a falling star. We’d been on the road for what felt like years and Nevada still seemed so far. Because of the ‘nature’ of our cargo, and not to mention the fact that practically the whole lot of us were ‘wanted’, we were forced to kind of camp out with the Dayfish. Absolutely [I] no hotels [/I]. We probably would’ve had a tough time getting in anyway, that Rumble kid wouldn’t leave his pets for a second.

His cat Ravage kinda freaked me out.

I heard some rustling in nearby bushes and craned m neck just in time to see my dad stumble towards the Dayfish, buckling his pants. I pulled a face.

“Um, yuck.” I muttered, watching him turn a slow circle before finally looking up. He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“What have I told you about climbing up there young lady?”

“Relax, ‘nature boy.’ I’m fine.” I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging them.

“You may say that now, Alexis, but when you fall and break your arm or-or fall and… and..-” He stuttered, avoiding the word.

“Die?” I supplied.

“Well… I mean. Alexis, you know I don’t like that word.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just… So depressing.” He paused as I looked down at him, nonchalant but silent and staring. He opened his mouth to speak again, but managed only to babble until I interrupted.

“You know, dad, you’re the only one who’s having a hard time dealing with this.”

“I just don’t like you up there.”

“Dad, that’s not what I meant.”

“Alexis,” he sighed after an uncomfortable silence, “why do you feel the need to bring it up all the time?”

“It’s how I cope, dad. And this would be a lot easier on me if you’d just - just accept it!”

“Alexis…”

“I mean… It’s not fair but I’m ok with it. I just - worry about leaving you alone because you just… Don’t seem to-”

“Look, Alexis, I’m just… not as strong as you or your mother, alright? I’m [I] still [/I] trying to… to recover from loosing her so … it’s hard to really even think about loosing you to-to…”

“Cancer?”

He paused again, then nodded. I knew he loathed uncomfortable silences, so I kept quiet. Eventually he sighed in defeat.

“Just… be careful coming down, ok?”

“I will be.”

“Good.” He paused for another second and I waited, expectantly, for him to say some ridiculous ‘worried dad’ thing. I felt a little hurt though as he simply waved at me and vanished into the Dayfish’s cabin. I sighed and leaned back onto the roof of the truck, folding my hands behind my head and pretending I wasn’t upset. I’d been telling the truth, mostly. Watching cancer slowly eat away my mom was hard. For five years I had to watch this beautiful woman slowly decay. I loved her hair - she used to let me play with it when I was little; but towards the end it lost it’s shine, it started growing in thinner and thinner until she finally shaved it all off. I think that’s when it finally dawned on me that … that was it. I didn’t cry when she died. I didn’t cry when the doctors told me I had an identical, inoperable, terminal brain tumor. Dad did. He drank for a while. The whole fucked up thing was unfair, but he was the worst. I was just so… so angry at him! [I] I [/I] was sick, not him. He wouldn’t talk about it or even acknowledge it. I was left to cope on my own. Not to mention I was still having flare-ups of-

I sat up as I heard a loud smack in the distance. I stared at the trees for a moment, listening, and heard an unmistakable voice shout back a response. Slipping as quietly and … [I] carefully [/I] … as I could to the ground, I headed towards the argument.

“-ould have gone back for him!” It was Rumble. I wondered if the kid had more emotions than just angry and depressed.

“Regardless of what Megatron would or would not have done, [I] I [/I] am not Megatron! EOS is in control now and what [I] he [/I] says - [I] goes [/I] !”

I had hear those names before - lots, especially Megatron. I guessed by the way the others all reacted and by the way Starscream clutched the crystal every time the name was mentioned, that this EOS had something to do with Starscream’s necklace. Maybe they were all part of some weird cult or something. As Starscream opened his mouth to reply he froze up suddenly and turned to stare through the trees at me.

“Woman!” He barked, now pointing. “Show yourself!”

How did he-. I decided, as I stomped confidently from my hiding spot, that I would be getting [I] all [/I] my answers… one way or another. And with Starscream, I was willing to do just about [I] anything [/I] .

“What?”

“Don’t you ‘what’ me!” Starscream practically shrieked, pointing a long finger into my chest. “What were you doing back there?”

“So, I’m not supposed to ‘what’ you but you can ‘what’ me?”

“What?” Oops. I’d confused him again.

“Who’s helping who here?”

“That’s not the point.” He grumbled.

“I was looking for you.”

“For-for me?” He looked deeply puzzled. I smirked and nodded. “Why?”

“I want to ask you some questions.”

“I told you already that I’m not answering any of your slaggin’ questions!”

Rumble chuckled and I rounded on him quickly, narrowing my eyes.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” I snarled. He blinked at me and cocked his head to one side.

“Um, wha?”

“Rumble!” Starscream hissed, then pointed. “G-go complain to the rest of the casetticons!”

“Whad you jus’ say!?” Rumble snarled at Starscream.

“You heard me.”

“You can’t tell me what to do!”

“Actually,” Starscream said, reaching up to finger the crystal at his neck, “ [I] we [/I] can.” I watched Rumble stare for a moment, holding his ground rather well. He finally looked away and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Alright, whateva. But I ain’t t’rough widju yet, Screama.”

“I’m quaking.” Starscream crossed his arms over his chest, smug. Watching him gloat reminded me why I was out there and I felt a small shudder run through my body. Of course coming for answers to questions had only been a cover story, if you will - the real reason, I mean the [I] real [/I] reason I had gone looking for him was… a bit more carnal. He was possibly the most attractive man I’d ever seen, and I felt impossibly drawn to him and I couldn’t explain why. I couldn’t think of anything but him while I was awake or sleeping. I wanted to be constantly in contact with him physically - sitting in his lap, or so close our shoulders touched or…

I wasn’t about to die an eighteen year old virgin, let me put it that way.

I cleared my throat. His shoulders dropped and he tilted his head back dramatically.

“What did I tell you, woman?”

“It’s Alexis.”

“Fine. What do you want?”

“Who is EOS?” He turned to look at me and I could see indignation flare up on his features before he narrowed his eyes.

“A power beyond your human imagination.”

“Are you part of some… cult or something?”

“No. We’re more like a milit-” He seemed caught off-guard and quickly wagged a finger at me. “Knock it off!”

“Who’s Megatron?” I started walking towards him.

“Shut up.” He backed up accordingly.

“Why can’t you tell me?”

“Then I’d have to kill you.” He offered me a dry smirk.

“Something tells me you wouldn’t do that.”

“You don’t know me very well wom-Alexis.”

“Starscream,” I smirked, watching something like mild panic cross his features as I backed him into a tree, “you can trust me.”

“Actually, I don’t think I can.”

“Oh?” I reached up to place my hand on his chest. He blanched.

“You’ve attempted to corner me - an aggressive move.”

“Attempted?” My left hand joined my right. “Looks like I’ve cornered you pretty effectively.” His chest felt… amazing beneath my hands. The fabric was thin, leaving little to my imagination. My finger tips could almost graze against the bare flesh above the last button. He narrowed his eyes the slightest bit.

“I could move you in less than I second if I so chose.”

“What’s stopping you?”

He met my eyes and I felt my knees go weak. His eyes seemed impossibly red, like … he would have to be wearing contacts to have such a color - but he clearly wasn’t wearing contacts. They were hard and calculating but at the same time there was this… pain. This unimaginable amount of suffering. I could almost hear him begging for help. I felt his arms twitch as he prepared to push me away, but I was faster. Lunging up to the balls of my feet - I kissed him.

I don’t know, really, what I was expecting, but it was euphoria. He didn’t really return the kiss, but he didn’t have to. He tasted like metal. I pressed up against him, pinning my hands between us. Eventually he snapped his hands to my shoulders and pried me off.

“What are you doing?” He asked, but his voice had none of it’s usual bite. My eyes were closed.

“Kissing you.” I answered numbly. I felt him stiffen, but he made no more movements. I curved my fingers into his shirt upon hearing him make a strange, almost strangled noise. I sprung back up to kiss him a second time. His grip on my shoulders tightened, froze… [I] then relaxed [/I] . I opened my eyes just in time to catch him close his. He even, tentatively, attempted to return the kiss this time. I pressed forward and slid my hands to his shoulders. I felt my body tingle as his hands slowly crept down my arms until they stopped at my hips.

Then he shoved.

Not expecting this at all, I hit the ground on my ass - hard. I looked up at him, stunned.

“Why-why did you-?”

He looked speechless, prying himself away from the tree and glaring at me as if to shoot lasers from his eyes.

“Starscream-”

“Hush foolish child! Don’t be stupid.” He snarled, starting to walk past me. I balled my hands into fists and whirled to face him, now on my hands and knees.

“Who’s Skyfire? What’s a bondmate and why do you hate these- these Autobots so much?”

I saw him practically trip, stumbling over nothing and throwing his hands out to keep his balance. He then gasped, as if in pain, and fell to his knees, clutching the crystal desperately.

“Starscream?” I slowly crawled towards him.

“What do you [I] want [/I] ?” He whimpered, now doubling over.

“T-take me with you… when you leave. When we reach Nevada.”

“Why should I?”

“B-because I’m dying… and I don’t want to spend my final days locked up in the Dayfish running from the cops with my father.”

He slowly looked over at me, pain all over his face. I brought a hand to my mouth and reached out to lay a hand on his arm as his nose began to bleed.

“That’s stupid.” He coughed. “No.”

I opened my mouth to reply when his eyes grew wide and he doubled over again, so far this time that his forehead scraped against the ground.

“Starscream!”

“Fine! Alright! You can come!”

I had no time to be excited, for he promptly passed out.